How Marriage Therapy Can Help Lower Divorce Rates

Marriage and Divorce in Virginia: Fast Facts

Across the U.S., 43% of first marriages result in divorce. Second marriages fail at a rate of 60% and third marriages end in a divorce 73% of the time. How does Virginia compare to these stats?

Virginia’s divorce rate is slightly higher than the country's average. In 2022, 7.1 per 1,000 couples divorced nationally. In Virginia, that rate was 7.9 in 2022. Although it is slightly higher, it is still lower than the highest divorce rate: Arkansas with a rate of 11.85 per 1,000.

Interestingly, divorce rates country-wide have actually decreased over the last decade, from 9.8 relationships per 1000 ending in divorce to in 2010 to 6.9 in 2021. 2022 saw an increase again, with a divorce rate of 7.1 for every 1000 marriages.  

Will this trend of increasing divorce continue into the next decade, or was 2022 just an odd blip? Only time will tell, but in the meantime, there are some important facts we can glean from this information about how to successfully keep a healthy marriage and why marriages fail.

Why Do So Many Marriages End in Divorce?

With around half of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s normal for newlyweds and people thinking of getting married to ask… why? Why, and what can I do to be different?

Marriages end for many different reasons, and everyone’s situation is unique. If you’re going through a divorce or trying to avoid a divorce, try not to compare yourselves to others. Your relationship and situation are not the same, so how you proceed doesn’t have to be the same either. 

The top reasons why marriages end, according to a Forbes survey, include: 

• Lack of family support (43%)
• Infidelity (34%)
• Lack of compatibility (31%)
• Lack of intimacy (31%)
• Too much conflict or arguing (31%)
• Financial stress (24%)
• Lack of commitment (23%)
• Parenting differences (20%)
• Marrying too young (10%)
• Opposing Values or Morals (6%)
• Substance Use (3%)
• Domestic Violence (3%)
• Pursuing different lifestyles (1%)

It’s important to note that these are just estimates, as not everyone who gets a divorce is willing to share. Some numbers, like substance use or domestic violence, may be actually higher than shown here, as survivors of abusive relationships may choose not to comment on why they’re getting a divorce out of personal safety or to protect their ex. 

You may not be that surprised by this list. The top reasons are issues most couples will struggle with from time to time. Those are the issues that marriage therapy is especially equipped to help with. 

Can Marriage Therapy in Virginia Save My Marriage?

No, marriage therapy is not guaranteed to “save” a marriage, although it is highly effective in working through problems when both parties are fully committed to the process. The reason we cannot say that marriage therapy in Virginia will save your marriage is that everyone’s situation is different. For some people, divorcing is truly the best option. In other situations, one or both parties are not committed to changing their behavior for the better, and marriage counseling cannot work. 

Also, we want to acknowledge that not every marriage that ends is a “failure”, as the wording around “failed marriages” might suggest. Some marriages are truly unhealthy, abusive, controlling, manipulative, or simply a bad fit. In these cases, failure is the wrong term to use. The ending was necessary. With time, the heartbreak will heal and a new beginning can take place. 

Other times, however, marriages end unnecessarily because of bad communications, affairs that could have been avoided, and stressful life events that could have been handled with more grace and teamwork. In these cases, therapy can be a tremendous help. 

Marriage therapy in Virginia can help you:

• Improved Communication: Marriage therapy provides a safe space for couples to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs more effectively, leading to better understanding and connection.
• Conflict Resolution: Therapists can help couples navigate disagreements constructively, teaching them to listen, compromise, and find solutions that strengthen their bond.
• Rebuilding Trust: If trust has been damaged, marriage therapy offers tools and support to rebuild trust, create transparency, and work towards healing. If it is your goal, marriage therapy can even help your relationship recover from an affair. 
• Enhanced Intimacy: Therapists can address intimacy issues and help couples enhance intimacy and reconnect emotionally and physically, fostering a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.
• Strengthening Partnership: Marriage therapy can help partners align their goals, values, and visions for the future, fostering a stronger sense of unity and partnership.
• Coping with Life Transitions: Therapists can support couples in navigating major life changes, such as career shifts, relocation, or parenthood, helping them adapt and grow together.
• Tools for Long-Term Success: Marriage therapy equips couples with practical tools, such as effective communication strategies and conflict resolution techniques, to sustain a healthy, loving relationship beyond therapy.

At Lifebulb, marriage therapy is unique to your situation. Think about what is most important to you and what your most pressing issues are. We can start there and work our way forward. 

Marriage therapy is not a sign that your relationship is doomed, and there is nothing shameful about getting help. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can be hard to make time for one another’s concerns and hurts. One little misstep can lead to another until it feels like there’s a chasm between you. Marriage therapy is a tool you can use to build a bridge over the divide and continue your life together. 

Don’t wait to become part of a statistic; reach out to a marriage counselor today.

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