Apr 9, 2025
Anger issues are tied to increased blood pressure and heart disease well as mental health issues like anxiety and depression. They can create strain in your relationships and at work, as well as steal your chances at accomplishing your goals.
There are a lot of reasons to address anger issues, but how to control anger issues can be a different question entirely. This article will give you six skills to quickly calm down when angry.
This article is a part of our coping skills series. Read the previous post, 33 Healthy Coping Mechanisms, here.
Why is it important to control anger?
Controlling anger issues can open up all kinds of new avenues to health and wellness, including:
- Improved Relationships: Learning to control anger can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
- Physical Health: Managing anger reduces the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and other stress-related health issues.
- Emotional Well-Being: By controlling anger, individuals can experience reduced levels of anxiety, depression, and overall emotional distress.
- Career Success: Managing anger can lead to better communication, conflict resolution, and overall success in the workplace.
- Enhanced Decision-Making: Learning to control anger allows for clearer, more rational decision-making in various aspects of life.
- Positive Role Modeling: By demonstrating healthy anger management, individuals can positively influence those around them, especially children and young adults.
- Legal and Financial Consequences: Uncontrolled anger can lead to legal issues and financial repercussions, while anger management can help avoid these negative outcomes.
By recognizing the importance of controlling anger and seeking support and resources, individuals can take proactive steps toward a brighter, healthier future. Whether through therapy, support groups, or self-help strategies, managing anger is a vital part of living one's brightest life.
Identify Triggers
The best way to deal with anger is to avoid getting too angry. If you’re already angry, skip down the list to a more immediate coping skill.
Identifying triggers is something anyone with anger issues should do. You can keep a journal or just keep a mental track of them. A trigger is anything that makes you feel angry or angrier. For example, big anger triggers include traffic, a coworker who always bugs you while you’re trying to get work done, or your kids leaving a toy in the middle of the hallway for you to step on.
Once you’ve identified these triggers, you can either structure your day to avoid as many triggers as possible or make a plan to deal with them before you get angry. For example, talking with your coworker while you’re calm about healthy boundaries, and looping in your boss if it’s a continued issue.
This sort of preventative coping strategy will help you avoid getting too angry in the future. However, it’s not possible to avoid all future triggers, so you’ll still need a good arsenal of coping strategies for when you do feel intense anger. Let’s dive into a few of those.
Exercise
You’ve probably heard this one before, but that’s because it really is so helpful. Not only does stepping away from a situation to go for a quick walk prevent it from escalating, exercise can reduce angry moods. One study found that it is effective at reducing angry moods and preventing people from getting as angry in the near future.
Incorporating exercise into your routine is a good way to deal with anger issues long-term, and stepping away for a quick workout or a walk around the block can be a good way to manage anger in the present.
Distract Yourself
Try to find an entirely new and interesting activity to focus on. If you need to, even taking a few minutes to scroll on your phone while your anger leaves you can help prevent you from lashing out in your anger.
Distractions may also include listening to an audiobook or podcast, talking with friends, or starting a new, more interesting project. If you’re going to try and distract yourself from your anger, try to find something that is completely absorbing and that you actually enjoy or find interesting, without the risk of triggering your anger further.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
We store anger in our body. Our muscles tense and our jaws clench. We may even ball our fists. We can release anger by releasing angry emotions—which is very difficult—or we can release anger by releasing the energy we’re storing in our bodies—something much more attainable.
You can do a Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise while standing, sitting, or lying down. Ideally, you’ll be sitting or lying down in a private room, but if you need to do a quick muscle relaxation while talking to someone or in a meeting to prevent yourself from getting too angry, that’s perfectly okay too.
To do a progressive muscle relaxation, follow these steps. Modify as needed:
- Find a quiet, comfortable space where you can sit or lie down without distractions.
- Start by taking a few deep breaths to help you relax and center yourself.
- Begin by focusing on one muscle group. We recommend starting at the top of your head. Slowly tense the muscles in that area as much as you can, holding the tension for a few seconds.
- Then, release the tension suddenly and completely, allowing the muscles to relax fully. Notice the difference between tension and relaxation.
- Move on to the next muscle group, working your way through your body. We recommend going down your body: from your head, to your shoulders, then your arms, hands, stomach, thighs, calves, and feet.
- Continue this process for about 10-15 minutes, or until you feel a sense of calm and relaxation.
- Finally, take a few more deep breaths and slowly bring your awareness back to the present moment.
You can add as many muscle groups as you can. Try to pinpoint as small of a muscle as you can. Also, don’t forget to fully release the muscle, noticing how the tension bleeds away.
Box Breathing
Box breathing is another common mindfulness practice that is effective and simple to do. It is also used to help people with anxiety attacks. Follow these steps. Modify as necessary.
- Begin by inhaling deeply through your nose for a count of four seconds, focusing on filling your lungs with air and expanding your belly.
- Hold your breath for another count of four seconds, feeling the stillness and presence of the moment.
- Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of four seconds, letting go of any tension within you.
- Hold your breath again for four seconds.
- Repeat this pattern of breathing—inhaling, holding, exhaling, and holding—several times.
- As you continue the box breathing exercise, pay attention to the sensations in your body.
This practice has been proven to reduce stress and anger levels.
Color Scanning
Color scanning is a good way to distract yourself and give yourself a way to calm down when angry if you are in the middle of a situation you can’t escape from, like in a meeting.
You can do this activity from anywhere you are able to let your attention wander, so don’t practice it while driving.
Follow these steps. Modify as needed:
- Scan your environment from left to right, noticing all the instances of red.
- Do the same, noticing all the instances of orange.
- Repeat for all the colors of the rainbow: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Try to notice all the smallest instances of color.
This is a simple exercise that can take your mind off of what is making you angry while also providing a soothing exercise to calm your body down. It is an effective anger management technique.
Therapy for anger management
If anger is stealing your ability to form healthy relationships, grow at work, or accomplish your goals, therapy can help. A therapist can help you with anger management skills and get to the root of your anger issues.
You are not broken for dealing with anger; anger is natural human emotion. Learning to control your anger is an important step in living a holistically healthy life. Contact Lifebulb to be scheduled with an anger management therapist near you today.
